07 February, 2005

When joy creates misery

Resolved: Cats are a Poisonous Pox on the Planet.

The first item I would like to submit as evidence is that wonderful Ameriquest advertisement during yesterday's Super Bowl. I couldn't possibly describe it, but you can watch yourself at Ameriquest's website. It's the one with the black man who tries to make a romantic dinner, and the cat is having none of it.

The second item I would like to submit as evidence is the consequence to how hard I laughed at that commercial (and a few others like it). My host owns three cats, and one of them insisted on walking over me several times last night, throwing her hair into the air so I would breathe it. Between the laughter and the cat hair, my lungs went nuts. I had to resort to asthma medicine so I could get to sleep. Good thing I stopped by Eckerd a few days ago!

I think those two items of evidence should suffice to prove my case: Cats are a Poisonous Pox on the Planet. At the very least, they're Poisonous to me, and who else matters in this argument? Certainly not the Cat Lovers in my family.

One might argue that it's a little hard to maintain this argument when one of my affectionate names for my fianceé is kitten — or, gattina — or, кошечка.

I don't find that argument terribly convincing though, since it merely serves my larger point: sometimes, joy creates misery. Laughing at Super Bowls created an asthma attack; similarly, love will create marriage, and then children...

Hopefully, my fianceé isn't reading this, but she says she reads all of them, so if you are reading this: I'm kidding. Honest. After all, you didn't give me asthma the last time I saw you! ...Of course, I did fall ill... Hmm...

I might be in trouble here. I'd better bury this posting with another one that only looks thoughtful.

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