Ecclesiastes 1·17-18
When I applied my mind to know wisdom and knowledge, madness and folly, I learned that this also is a chase after wind. For in much wisdom there is much sorrow, and he who stores up knowledge stores up grief....or in some translations, "he who increases knowledge, increases sorrow."
My wife, son and I were discussing religion in the car yesterday. I don't remember how it started — I think my wife asked something about the priest's homily — but it took various turns, as conversations are wont to do on an hour-long drive. I took the opportunity to tell my son one of the interesting paradoxes of my faith, which I will probably elaborate later:
There is no such thing as a good Christian, and the surest sign that someone is a bad Christian is that he claims to be a good one.My wife recalled at this point how, if you read the lives of the saints, they always — always — consider themselves great sinners extremely unworthy of God's love. The closer one draws to God, the more clearly one sees oneself for what one really is. There isn't room in Christianity for self-congratulation.
Back to the words of Qoheleth above. My wife pulled the words from her memory, and gave such an interesting interpretation that I felt compelled to write it here. "Since God has complete knowledge," she observed, "perhaps the words can mean that God, who knows everything, knows everything about us, so he feels great sorrow." She added a moment later, "And so God really loves us."
In connection with a previous entry, she also suggested to me a Russian prayer:
Молитвами моими спаси и помили врогов моих Господи. Молитвами врогов моих спаси и помили меня Господи.I likewise thought of Jesus' prayer from the cross:
Through my prayers save and have mercy on my enemies, O Lord. Through the prayers of my enemies, save and have mercy on me, O Lord.
Father, forgive them; they know not what they do.You might find interesting the comment made by an anonymous poster on that entry.
Now that I have increased your knowledge on our family discussions, I suppose I have increased your sorrow as well :-)
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2 comments:
"The closer one draws to God, the more clearly one sees oneself for what one really is."
I remember asking my minister why the saints often seemed to become more messed up and afflicted as they got holier, rather than, well, whole. He said something like what you said above, and referred me to some things Rowan William's written. He dwells on that concept in a few books, on the saint's brokenness and suffering becoming more apparent and acute as they draw closer to God. At the same time, though they carry on through grace and become these amazingly attractive (if disorienting) characters to the rest of us.
There are times when I feel the emotional burden of the evil in the world. All the pain and suffering weighs heavy upon my soul...
In these times I wonder how God emotionally deals with pain. Is emotional the right word to describe God? Probably not, but from Genesis 6 we have some indication that there are such a thing as God-feelings...
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