Three flavors of Calculus

One of my colleagues was complaining that in the Calculus she was teaching today, students were unhappy because she wouldn't re-explain how to factor polynomials, a topic they were supposed to have mastered in high-school algebra. I asked her which Calculus this was; the question was necessary because, as with many universities, we offer multiple flavors of Calculus, tailored for the different needs of different majors.

Overhearing this, another colleague remarked, We have three kinds of Calculus here:

• Calculus for those who cannot learn it,
• Calculus for those who don't want to learn it, and
• Calculus for those who refuse to learn it.